There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
