Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if only i could text you this smell
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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