Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
