So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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