in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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