is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
