We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
