I just pynch a tree in the face
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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