Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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