You don't have asthma, your pregnant
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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