Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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