I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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