She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
