So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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