He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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