Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
