so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
