chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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