apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why do cheetos always look like penises
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you never un-have a 4some
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I touched a dick in church today
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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