ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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