please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
