my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize