absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
