can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
