Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
