In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
