Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
