Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
