new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
