the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
