His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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