I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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