This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
