if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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