By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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