Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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