When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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