She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
