Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?

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(519): View more from Ontario

mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.

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(830): View more from Texas

Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

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(330): View more from Ohio

White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.

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(949): View more from California

how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

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(815): View more from Illinois

remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come

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(773): View more from Illinois

Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.

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