farters have to be the big spoon...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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