O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
