Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize