One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
