Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
