I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
