Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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