i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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