God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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