All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
