I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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