You can't special order awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
