used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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