I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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