You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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