he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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