So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
