The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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