I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
