I just made out with a guy for $7.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
