nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
